An angel sleeps before me

I have written this entry into my journal 3 times, but it never seems good enough to explain how I feel inside.  I know it is every mother's worse nightmare to have one of her children injured, but I never even thought, or tried NOT to think, of what it would be like to hold someone else's dying child.

I feel selfish in even saying that because I can't even fathom how devastating and what a horrible drive that driving from a different state would be, when my child was injured, let alone unthinkable injuries.  I am so blessed to know that one of the gifts of the Spirit is comfort.  I know those parents had that with them on such a horrible horrible drive.

I am so glad that we could give these parents comfort in knowing that their baby boy was not alone and would never be alone, and I am so thankful that we gave them security even though they did not know us personally at the time. 

Now that I have spent time with Shawn, learned more about him, and seen a community deviated by his passing I feel very special to be the one at his bed side holding him during his last hours.  It is one of another mother's fears, you know, to watch our teenage boys turn into young men and travel so far away form us and home, that if something bad happened, we wouldn't know what to do or how fast we could get there. I hope his Mom found some peace knowing we wouldn't leave him. Will I ever feel worthy enough for the trust I was given? I am not sure I ever will.  I just hope that if the situation were ever reversed someone would be there for my son.

Wednesday, we received a call from friends in our Colorado Ward. A family in our old area, who were now friends with all our old friends, had a son get in a car accident in Utah. He was on his way from traveling with his Church Singing/band group to California to play at a Christian Concert. The van was in a car accident and the young man suffered a severe brain injury.  He was life flighted to a Provo hospital, even though the accident happened hours away, because Provo is the closest severe trauma center.

I can't imagine what it would be like to have this happen in a state where I knew no one, but the parents didn't not know a soul in Utah.  Sometime in the 3 o'clock hour on Wednesday we got the call from friends.  They had told this family that we were close by, a little about us,  and already had us authorized at the hospital.  We didn't even need to be asked: I left for the hospital immediately and Brandon left work.  We were both about 15 minutes away in opposite directions.

It would not be appropriate for me to give explanations of what happened from either the accident or the hospital so I would like to just share my feelings and how this young man was a blessing in my life. However I would like to say that the 3 musician young men did nothing wrong. They were completely stopped, and rear-ended.

First of all, I was so touched with how a young man brought up in such a strong loving home, can effect so many others while peacefully sleeping.  The nurses had all watched his Youtube videos and his singing is phenomenal; but beyond phenomenal.  We have been even more touched with all the young people on Facebook who have published even more videos of Shawn singing.  Well the hospital Chaplin was familiar with this young man's Christian music and asked if he could have someone come sing to him by his bed side.  We were blessed to be able to be there for this.

Brandon felt, given this boys testimony, that we should read the scriptures to him.  There was a bible in the room, so Brandon read.  He read II Corinthians.   He read the entire book.  Now that I ponder back, I realize that I don't think I have ever read from beginning to end. I am more a "read in spurts" type of person.  What a great thing to have learned from Shawn.  This would be the first influence that this young man would have on me, without even speaking.  That is why I refereed to him as "an angel sleeping".  We would stay with Shawn for over 9 hours never moving from his side.

I learned that I shouldn't only believe that children are our greatest blessing but I should make sure my children know that every moment in this life, and in fact I want everyone's children to know that they are not just a gift to THEIR parents, but a huge gift to me.  I have watched a community of young men and women gather together and support each other in ways that make me feel so proud of them.

These young people are inspirational to me to be a better person.

Saturday we drove down to the car that the boys were in and retrieved all of Shawn's belongings for his parents.  I am still so amazed at how this young man's love for pretty much EVERYTHING and his clean and Christ-centered life style affect seriously EVERYONE.  Even the gentleman in possession of the car was so moved by stories of all three boys. He told us even more inspirational stories that we didn't even know yet

The Youtube videos I posted are of the kids singing playfully.  I have his Christian band music too, but I just got the links and need to get them ready.

Please hug all your babies tonight.

The Funeral will be held next Saturday.