Vernacular Etiology

So I have realized while raising children that kids love to mimic what parents say.  I remember the first time one of my little ones (Evie) said, "Holy Twap!"

... ummm Brandon and I looked at each other... like, how in the heck are we going to live without the phrase 'holy crap'.  It is like crack to those of us born in the early early 70's. 

Buuuuuutttt. I learned to do without.  Brandon, not so much... Then there was the positive way you could use the expression 'shut up'.  For instance... "I just won 5,000 dollars!"... response," NO WAY, SHUT UP!"...

Well I have moved past this phrase too...  Christy Miner... not so much! :) jk! (love you Miner!)

To think I was teased in my youth for saying the word, "like" to much in dialogue.  I didn't like say it that much!  But at least my kids could like say that without me feeling guilty.

... NOW we are to present day!  Imagine you just asked Rainy to clean her room... Her response... 

"SERIOUSLY?"

Mom: "Seriously."

Rainy: " URGH! I can't believe I seriously have to clean my room again... Seriously."


I think it can be concluded that my next word choice change is seriously, the word seriously... and this after I just moved past the word... "Whatever."

I mean those of us who graduated in 1990, are the coooooolest collected individuals on the planet.  I mean how do we deal with any contention? Easily!

No need to argue...

We have the words "WHATEVER!" or "SERIOUSLY", available in our repitoire for immediate,  indesputable, argument ending, usage!!!

Really, who can argue with a good ... WHATEVER??!!!!

Why do I tell you allllllllll of this?  Because my cousins, whom I haven't seen in 30 years, taught me the expression "talk smack!" When I was 8 years old.


So I don't know if anyone even knows this phrase anymore, but my kids sure do, because I tell them to stop talking smack all the time.  So if you are not familiar with this because I am soooo out of date, and desperately need to start saying things like "... umm I can't think of any."

Talking smack was originally used as a verb for gossiping, but in my home it has evolved into 'telling jokes or making fun of someone.'

I figure if you have half a dozen kids like me and are thus populating the world so effectively, you have the right to coin terms and even invent your own language... I mean you are paying enough taxes too.

So thus, my boys decided to have a 'smack down' yesterday. 

First Jacob came over when I was working on my computer.  He sat down next to me and started staring at me laughing.  Then he started hitting the enter key repeatedly while I tried to work.  This gave him much enjoyment... let me tell you.

Then he grabbed my fingers and started tickling me until I let loose of the computer, and he STOLE my laptop and ran upstairs to his room with a nice evil laugh.  (insert evil laugh here)

So, I being a now damsel in distress, I called down to Brandoneous (in his office ripping an old home movie) "Brandon, hurry I need you to defend my honor... and every second, more damage is being done to it."

Well Brandon jumped at the chance! We both jogged on up to Jake's room, where I recovered my laptop only to find out, I had already told everyone via my Facebook profile that I was an 'old hag' and 'with an insignificant life... like a bug.'

Brandon then sat on one of Jake's legs and tickled him until he typed his password into his Facebook profile.  Hehehehehe! There was much giggling between the two while I immediately typed Jake's new status. 

My mom looks so great that I want to be like her and eat meat. LOTS OF MEAT! Everyone please bring me meat to school tomorrow. AS MUCH AS YOU CAN! 

Then one of Jake's friends started IMing him and Brandon answered with some doosies!!!

Poor confused friend!

Speaking of this friend... Jake informed me that he heard noises from our kitchen the night before last at about 1:30am and he went downstairs because he thought we were being robbed.  Turns out there are two kids (Jake's friends) at our kitchen table eating our bagels! 

Apparently the kids got hungry and knew we were cool.  Life is always interesting when you live in Brandoneous's world... and Jacob's world (they are one and the same).

I remember when Jacob was two, I came home from the store, opened the house, and returned to my car for groceries.  When I came back to the house, I was locked out... and there was my toddler, laughing at me through the window..... SOOOOOO BRANDON-LIKE!

Now on with the original story... I gave Caleb my laptop computer for homework, and he got in on the 'burn Mommy' action with my blog.

What did I learn from this experience? You would think that it would be to log-out and kick kids off my computer... but NO... I learned that my teen-agers can't spell worth beans!!!

... and Caleb that is smack about YOU! :)

Caleb, may you sometime in your life, encounter your own proverbial Nikki... a little woman with a big verbative stick, who teaches you to write well, given your poor articulative upbringing! As she did me!

I LOVE YOU BOYS! AND NIKKI!